Happy Easter Jared

I miss you so much.

UPDATE !!!!Suspended from Mothers of Incarcerated Sons

So Rhonda who runs Moms of Incarcerated Sons sends me an email as to why I was suspended. Because my settings refused to accept emails from the site. Unreal. She said MISS deleted 100 accounts. I have no clue as to why.

•*¨*•♫♪░H░A░P░P░Y░ ░N░E░W░Y░E░A░R░♪♫•*¨*•

God Bless this coming year for you, Jared,

This is Christmas Day

I have a son out there that I haven't seen since June 2010, he is in a Florida prison, Time moves on but it sure as hell doesn't get easier. I never in my life imagined having to go through something like this. Although I totally agree with doing time for crimes, that punishment is a necessary and useful tool in society but a parent of an incarcerated child also does time. The State of Florida has the control, I do not. I have no say when I can get my son back. As his mom my heart aches,in spite of his wrong doings, he is my son,my firstborn and I miss him, nothing is really the same, hasn't been and won't be until he is free again and we can be together, his siblings and me. Wishing my firstborn Christmas peace, blessings, safety,strength,love.....

Christ is born

Hark the herald angels sing "Glory to the newborn King! Peace on earth and mercy mild God and sinners reconciled" Joyful, all ye nations rise Join the triumph of the skies With the angelic host proclaim: "Christ is born in Bethlehem" Hark! The herald angels sing "Glory to the newborn King!"

To the Moms of Incarcerated Sons....

I stop in, read a few topics and it's too sad so I go....but I am here.....feeling everyone's pain and understanding. Some people benefit from ongoing communications, like talking to a friend on the phone. It's great if 'talking' helps. Like I am in real life, I tend to shut people out and keep things internal. Reading about all the mom's sons just rehashes the ugly fact that we have lost our sons, they are not here where they should be, they are gone from us , we have no control, we sit, we wait, we cry, we fear, we cry some more, wait for word, wait for that call, visit or letter, anything just to connect with them, to cling to just another small piece of them . Consumed with such disbelief and pain. Carrying our sons within us for 9 months, glancing in their eyes, smelling that freshness of a newborn baby, the innocence, the profound love, we were in awe of our little wonders and never thought of what would become them one day , It is heartbreaking. So it is easier me to handle it if I don't 'talk' about it. I prefer to sit in the shadows and just read the updates, see how the moms sons are doing, who is going to court, who is getting out, the visits and all. Wishing peace to everyone.

2 YEARS TO GO

2 More years until I can see you again. I can't stand this anymore. The holidays suck to tell you the truth. I pretend in front of the kids but I hate them. It's hard for me to be happy about anything knowing you are in prison. I sent a few Christmas cards and money orders to you, they probably arrived today. I miss you Jared.

Happy Thanksgiving Jared

2 years down, 2 more to go. This just should not be. I miss you so much.

Happy Birthday Jared

I think about you all day,everyday but today is your birthday..I wish I could at least talk to you. I miss you so much...a mom's pain, this is a nightmare.

Happy Birthday Jared

Another birthday I can't spend with you...this is so hard,God willing there are better days ahead for you. Happy Birthday to my son, Jared!

Sending letters to incarcerated family members

I saw this poem on another site posted by another mom with a son in prison. I know this was never you because I have written to you hundreds of times and will never stop writing to you. But I know you have stood in line with inmates who never get a letter from home, the forgotten. Very sad. I was always the one who shout death penalty for child molesters and murderers, I was the one who would take joy to hear life. You do the crime, pay your time. After being a part of a group online with other moms, I can now say maybe laws on sentencing need to change, maybe the conditions in our prisons need to get better. Yes, if you commit a crime, you need to do the time but sometimes that time is harsh and not warranted. I think more should be done to rehabilitate instead of incarcerate. Felons are people too. Yes, some are cold blooded killers who have done some horrendous things causing others so much pain but one day long ago they were good little kids with moms, dads, families who went the wrong way. They are still some one else's

son or daughter. Making it through another long day, waiting on 6 PM at night, hoping to hear my name being called, praying this time it might. watching the man go down the list, my heart starts beating with fright. He calls them out one by one, but mine is no where in sight. He turns and leaves right out the door, and I find myself alone, staring out into the night and waiting on letters from home. Letters here and pictures there, wishing next time that it is me. Seeing the wives and kids of others sometimes makes me want to scream. I have to stop and pray to God, upon his shoulders I lean. They're just so busy with kids and jobs. And of course thers the house to clean. I know they'll get time to write and the letters will show the love we have is always there as I wait on letters from home. Another week has come and gone, and Sundays here again. Tomorrow starts the waiting game, gotta play if I'm gonna win. Finding ways to pass the time and keeping my mind from sin. Tired of chess and sick of TV, so now its just paper and pen.To write my thoughts to the ones I love and tell them so they know. They are always in my heart and prayers, as I wait on letters from home.

To My Son

These few years you will be away in prison will be perhaps the hardest years in my life. Not a day goes by where missing you, worrying about you, wondering about you doesn't consume me. This is hard, so much harder and sadder than I tell you. I don't want to saddle you with my grief but this has been difficult and heart wrenching

I miss you so much Jared

Hard Times

I am heart broken to have lost you to prison, I can't stand this anymore.

I wish for you....

Dear Jared......I wrote you another letter tonight.....

We went through some tough times, ups and downs but no matter what, you are always my son, my firstborn, the light of my life. Nothing in this world made me happier than the moment you were born.